My friend’s real story before dead !!

Hi. This is my story I would like to share with others. I hope in some way it will help others not to make the mistakes I made throughout my life. Since I was 12 years old I messed up my life. Why? All because I found out my father was not my biological father. I was adopted by my step father who was a great dad in every way. I made the big mistake of thinking I was not loved by my real dad and not wanted by him. 

So at age 12 I rebelled against all who really loved me and ended up destroying my own life. I have been looking for my real dad all my life by way of every phone book I saw , social security offices and questioning my mom all the time only to get answers that couldn't help because she herself didn't know. I chose to only hurt myself because I felt abandoned. 

I am now 47 years old and have nothing to show for my life at all . All because of a feeling that I was not loved. I became a drug addict to kill the pain of emptiness I felt . I had relationships with men who were physically abusive and was a terrible mother to my  children due to drug usage. 

I have been drug free for over 3 year's now and love myself finally. The happy ending to this story is that yesterday on Thanksgiving Day here I sat on the computer and I found my father!!!!!!! It took all the courage I, the insecure, totally self destructive little girl inside me had to pick up the phone and dial that phone number. But I did and what a surprise I got. The man I thought who had abandoned me and never loved me never even knew I existed!!!!! 

my son and me

I am now going to try and build a relationship with him through the mail and the phone. He lives in Idaho and I live in Florida so we can not personally meet due to expenses. He is 89 years old and not in the best of health and I can't afford to fly out there, so we will make the best of what we have and go from there. 

I just wanted to share this story with those of you who feel unloved and abandoned. Please give life a chance and do not hurt yourselves because sometimes thing's are not as they seem. We only end up hurting ourselves and if nothing else, please learn to love yourselves. 

 

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How to Have a Successful Life

The bigger the dream, the more time and effort it will take to achieve, so only take on as much as you are willing to make time for

 

Instructions

1. • 1
     Define what success means to you. For some people, success is as simple as being able to pay the bills with a little left over, while others define it as making millions of dollars.
     

     

     
     
   • 2
     Set financial goals that will help you to achieve your vision of success. Keep your current financial status in mind, as well as the economic climate, to ensure that your goals are reasonable and achievable. The Federal Citizen Information Center suggests that you create goals that are SMART -- specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-related.
     
     

     

     
     
   • 3
     Make a plan that includes relevant and measurable milestones along the way that will help to keep you on track. Keep other priorities in mind when planning for financial success to be sure that you can accommodate them as well. Other priorities might include family relationships, professional goals or physical health.
     
     

     

     
     
   • 4
     Consult an experienced and reputable financial planner and investment specialist who can help you to avoid pitfalls along the way. After reviewing your plan, a professional can advise you about potential tax implications and investment strategies to help you achieve financial success along your timeline. Become informed by attending seminars or joining investment clubs in which you can learn from other people's successes and failures.
     
     

     

     
     
   • 5 
     Take action and begin working on your plan as soon as possible. The difference between dreamers and achievers is that the latter act on their dreams. If you find it difficult to start, take small steps, such as opening a brokerage account or investing in some safe mutual funds.
     
     

     

     
     
   • 6
     Be flexible and make course corrections as necessary. Follow the advice of former General Electric CEO Jack Welch, who said "I've learned that mistakes can often be as good a teacher as success." Things can happen that might be out of your control, such as a downturn in the housing market or the loss of a job. You should not let external factors stop you from achieving success. Instead, adapt your plan and continue on with your goals.
     
     

     

     
     

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"It Has Been A Rough Year" 1956

I am adding this additional chapter to my introduction, because after I initially wrote the introduction, it was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that I have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that I have endured or overcome. 

I wish that I could say that I have completely pulled myself through this period of not knowing who I am, however in contrast, the struggle to regain solid ground has been all uphill and the burden of feeling lost in my world became magnified, more confused, and a period of testing that I am not even sure how I survived this time,  except by the grace of God and the support of my daughters and friends. I am confident, however, that these trials that I have been going through are going to work out for the good, eventually. 

I should probably give a brief overview of what has been going on this past year.  To begin with, when my husband came home from Afghanistan, he was changed, I was changed, we were no longer on the same team or even the same mind set.  When he left, he was my best friend; when he came home, life was a roller coaster going full speed with no brakes!  We have not yet been able to find what we had before he left, and the loss I feel is tremendous. 

 

In addition to my husband returning as a stranger, my twins were each suffering in completely different ways, one with an eating disorder with image distortion and her sister with depression and disconnection to our whole immediate family.  When they began to suffer with problems beyond my ability to help them with, I suddenly felt as if I was a failure as a mother.  Although my girls today tell me I've been a great mother and should not feel guilty for what they have been going through, I still bear the burden of a helpless mother who so desperately wants to help her babies but cannot.  A terrible depression consumed me and is still weighing heavy over me.  Depression is the most crippling disease a person can develop.  It consumes the very spirit in a person and takes over, relentlessly destroying its captive in ways I can't even begin to understand or describe.   

 

Because my depression overwhelmed my life, I could not help my Natalie and Ashlie to overcome their problems and both had to leave our home environment to seek help from others who were better equipped than I.  Natalie ended up moving to live with my brother, TJ, for a fresh start, and hopefully healing for the eating disorder, and Ashlie ended up moving to our Pastor's home to stay with his family while I began dealing with a physical illness that was brought on by the depression and stress in my life

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My oldest daughter, Nadia has stayed home with me, and truly she has been my strength through many days when I only wanted to give up.  This time has given us a new, stronger...precious bond in which we share, and together we are facing some of the most difficult challenges, and I thank God every day for blessing me with such an amazing daughter.  Actually...all three of my girls are amazing, and I am so blessed to have them in my life.  Jokingly, I say "I don't know what I ever did right to deserve to be blessed so greatly with such precious girls," but truly, and with all seriousness, they are a gift to my life, and I can't thank God enough for them.  

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26 Life Lessons Learned by Age 26

Here is a list of 26 life lessons I have learned thus far at the age of 26.  I pass this list on to you with the simple hope that it makes you think.  Sometimes thinking about your life and sorting out what you have learned is just as important as tackling a new venture.

1. Being an adult can be fun when you are acting like a child.
2. Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust, and interest.
3. Laughing, crying, joy and anger… All are a vital.  All make us human.
4. The greatest truths in life are uncovered with simple, steady awareness.
5. Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
6. Bad things do happen to good people.
7. Paving your own road is intelligent only if nobody has gone exactly where you are going.
8. Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge.  Hesitation is the product of fear.
9. Time heals all wounds… regardless of how you feel right now.
10. Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you.
11. Your health is your life.
12. Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.
13. Kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence.
14. People deserve a second chance, but not a third.
15. Marry your best friend.
16.  
17. Take lots of pictures.  Someday you’ll be really glad you did.
18. Money makes life easier only when the money is yours free and clear.
19. Carelessness is the root of failure
20. Your actions now create memories you will reminisce and talk about in your elder years.
21. Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now.
22. Motivation comes in short bursts.  Act while it’s hot.
23. Purposely ignoring the obvious is like walking backwards toward the enemy.
24. Taking ownership of failure builds the foundation for success.
25. First impressions are completely worthless 50% of the time.
26. Personal glory lasts forever.
27. If you never act, you will never know for sure.

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